The Power of a Little Peek Behind the Curtain

Antonia Phelan Balazs has been a member of the Affinity community for almost 6 months and it wasn’t until this week that I truly felt like I saw her.

This delightful human being has popped up several times talking about the way she helps her clients. Her posts are always well written and helpful but I’ve noticed that they never got the attention and interaction that deserved in the group. I myself, being 100% transparent, have never felt like the content called to me to respond as for me personally the words didn’t resonate – most likely because I’m not her ideal client.

But then… but then… she wrote this and I suddenly feel like I want to read everything she writes because it touched me so deeply to be allowed within her world. I feel I know her now. There is a beautiful, brightly coloured mosaic of a human where before there was a blank space in my mind and I am engaged!

I wanted to share her writing with you partly because it is the most exquisite and delightful piece of writing I’ve consumed in quite some time and partly because I wanted you to feel the profound effect it can have on the relationships we build with people online when we are able to let them peek behind the curtain and really ‘see’ us.

This piece of writing has nothing to do with her business and everything to do with who she is and that’s what lights the fire within us that inspires us to work with people.

Thank you Antonia for sharing yourself with us xxx

For Valentine’s Day, I dipped into chocolate-covered childhood memories and made a lily for my husband.

Mum and I spent endless childhood summer weeks staying in my grandparent’s small, cozy flat in London. I always looked forward to spending time there, particularly with my grandfather. The flat was different from our home on the north shore of Long Island and I was a kid who lapped up and enjoyed diverse environments.

The front door of the flat would slam as mum headed out at what she called ‘the shriek of dawn’ to go to Bermondsey antique market. It was only 5 am and I’d go back to sleep. I loved her returning with show-and-tell treasures, especially when they included a new-to-me Rupert Annual.

One constant in my life has been reading. I gobbled down just about everything. In the US, I was a fixture at the library, but there were none nearby in London. Mum had to keep me supplied.

These decade-old Rupert Annuals not only contained stories. There were codes to crack and games to play.

There was also origami.

I spent what seemed like hours sitting at the drop-leaf table in the living room, pieces of crumpled paper scattered around and my jaw set. I was going to make that origami lily if it took me all day and I didn’t get outside.

When I finally mastered it, I couldn’t stop making them. They were a calling card of mine – for years, I whipped them up at the drop of a hat.

I never did take origami any further. Perhaps my jaw was too set!

This morning, I was pondering love and Valentine’s Day, as one does, when making an origami lily for my husband floated through my mind.

Would I remember how to do it? I hadn’t made one in decades.

Nervously I sat down, paper and fingers poised.

I took a deep breath as I blinked my eyes closed and open.

My fingers started their work automatically. I was surprised at how they took on a life of their own. As if they were detached, I watched as my fingers picked up the pristine piece of paper and began – diagonal fold one way and then the other.

Next, the most extraordinary thing happened.

My fingers turned over the piece of paper, to make folds on the other side.

I froze. I paused.

I never would have remembered I needed to turn over the paper. Talk about muscle memory.

I sat in wonder, the finished flower sitting before me as it had done so many times before. When I gave it to my husband, it was like giving him another part of me, one forgotten and rediscovered with new eyes.

As we go through life, we grow, change and evolve. We see the same things differently, through the lens of new experiences. At the same time, deep inside there’s a core person. There’s the child persevering with origami and she’s the same yet different from the woman looking down at an origami flower, made by muscle memory for the husband she loves.


Antonia Balazs is a warm, effervescent down-to-earth relationship coach who uses the ancient wisdom of Kundalini yoga to help women in midlife ignite intimacy and passion in their marriage. Known for her thoughtful and supportive guidance, Antonia shares her extensive knowledge of Kundalini yoga with her private clients, helping them unlock new ways to connect with themselves and their husbands. This ultimately creates marriages that are deeper and more profound than the day they said ‘I do’.


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