“people meet me at networking and often see a happy bubbly sociable person on the outside …they dont see that what’s on the inside is completely different”
What Cass received from this shoot…
This shoot has improved my connection with myself, re-ignited my passion for life, for my business and increased my self esteem (with a whole heap of laughter thrown in for fun).
An affirmation Cass lives by…
Scars tell us where we have been – they do not dictate where we are going! This quote really resonates with me not only in the physical sense but the emotional too. I came to the realisation that I am more than enough – its the thing I try to tell myself every day and strive to keep believing.
I struggle with self confidence and body image struggles and have done for many years, however since having my twins my mental health spiralled out of control. I battled years of IVF to have children, and was only successful after being told Egg Donation or Adoption were my only options within the UK. I successfully got pregnant in 2018, but had a very rocky pregnancy, being told several times I had lost one of my twins.
Then at my 16 week scan I was told one of the boys has a serious condition that would require at least 2 major surgeries in his first year and many more treatments, and possible surgeries in latter years. There was the worry of him being bullied, as well as the physical struggles that would lie ahead. This rollercoaster of a journey spiralled me into a horrendous bout of anxiety and depression both pre natal and post that lasted over 2 years.
I had set up my Event Planning business in 2016 with the aim that I could take down time when I needed it, as I knew the journey to having a family could be a long and difficult one, and so with that flexibility I took just over 2 years off with the boys.
After dealing with the anxiety and depression I then started to battle with my own personal identity. I went from being a very successful, well travelled business women, to entrepreneur to just being stay at home mum. It was something I had always wanted, and I had the dream of being the stay at home mum for 5 years, but my mind had other plans.
I realised that losing such a big part of me and my independence, my financial independence, the social interactions I had prior to having the boys had disappeared, and then Covid hit!
Suddenly it was just me, hubby and the boys, and I felt so isolated. I didnt just lose myself mentally but also physically. I endured a painful pregnancy whereby I could barely walk by 37 weeks, I was on crutches and my SPD caused such horrendous pain. Following having the boys, my hormones then caused my body all kinds of havoc from skin conditions, horrendous mood swings, severe facial acne and much more besides. My body had completely changed shape and suddenly I didnt really recognise that person any more and I definitely didnt feel home in my own body.
Now people meet me at networking and often see a happy bubbly sociable person on the outside they dont see what’s on the inside is completely different. I do always wake up, put my face on and wear something nice, as that always puts me in a better mindset, but I have never quite got back to that pre baby body and therefore I havent got back to the place I was prior to having the twins and loving the body I had.
I struggle a lot with imposter syndrome and I’m constantly battling those ‘not enough’ demons. Not doing enough, not being enough of the mum, always thinking I should be or be doing more. Sometimes being a perfectionist has its own struggles. I would love to learn more about learning to love myself and treating myself with more love and kindness. Something I am constantly learning and trying to improve.
The launch of my ‘Me Time Retreats’ was the result of my own personal journey, as I learned to explore new activities, challenge my limiting beliefs and in turn grow my confidence and self esteem.
I knew that this kind of photoshoot would be completely out of my comfort zone, and another thing on my bucket list to keep challenging myself and learning to love myself inside and out as well as being able to meet more wonderful inspiring ladies all on their own individual journeys.
Cassandra’s advice to you lovely reader…
Tell those mind monkeys to do one
Do something that will inspire others, constantly push boundaries, limiting beliefs, try new activities and surround yourself by those who will lift you up not drag you down
HOW TO CONNECT WITH CASSANDRA
If you’d like to know more about Cassandra, her story and her business then do reach out to her. If you’ve been inspired by her story then I’m sure she would love to hear from you.
Website : www.aneyefordetailevents.co.uk
Instagram : www.instagram.com/an_eye_for_detail_events
Linked In : www.linkedin.com/cassandradartnell
Flowers for the shoot were provided by the beautiful, talented Nia of Luv Shifting Flowers: https://luvshiftingflowers.com/flowers/